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SHMAIS.COM EXCLUSIVE: "A shidduch is the greatest test for the shadchan, parents and child"

Posted Monday, Mar 5 2012 10:28pm in Chabad News


With this post we conclude our EXCLUSIVE series on the Shidduchim Crisis with more solutions presented by Top Lubavitch Shadchanim. We hope you have enjoyed the series.


Solution #12: Work for the shidduch on a Ruchnius level

“A shidduch is the greatest test for the shadchan, parents and child. All three must maintain active emunah and bitachon.”

“This is a holy process. People need to enter the parsha in a pure state of mind. Remember that if the dynamics of the relationship aren’t right, then beauty, status and money will not serve the marriage. ”

“Increase in avoda – tehillim, Torah and mitzvos, and bitachon in the zechus of your child, or yourself. Use segulos: give 18 cents a day to Hachnassas Kallah on behalf of the single. Daven for a different single person. Some say Shir Hashirim Friday night after lichtbenschen.”

“Maintain a strong emunah that the shidduch will happen. Stop and relax a minute – close your eyes and use positive imagery of the single person at their own wedding with all of the glory and simcha of a Binyan Adei Ad.”

“I don’t think we should be doing shidduchim without the Rebbe today. People need a mashpia that both sides agree on. Or they need to write to the Rebbe and follow the advice in the Igros (with a mashpia’s help in interpreting it if necessary). Chassidim cannot live without the Rebbe’s guidance.”

In closing, “The shidduch system is the most beautiful, amazing system in the world,” said one shadchan. “Think about it: after one or two dates you can know you don’t want to marry someone, and within a few weeks you can know that you do. It’s a little uncomfortable, true. But at times we have to make ourselves uncomfortable and work hard for anything important in life.”

CLICK HERE for Installment #6



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Monday, Mar 5 2012 10:37pm

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