Memoirs of Rebbetzin Chana - Part 35 -Where are my husband’s writings now?

Evening following Shabbat,

28 Marcheshvan [5713 (1952)]

Just now, my son—long may he live, and may he be well and

successful—left my apartment. He is very fatigued, yet he still took

with him lots of work to do at home.

Since childhood, he has always spent his time in constant study.

I don’t remember him ever wasting time.

Thank G-d, I derive a great deal of nachas from him.

He is a truly great personage, with a pure soul. He does much

for my sake, which I consider to be a privilege, after all the

tribulations I have experienced.

There are, however, some things I can’t tell him, for what

purpose would that serve?

I remember how my husband, of blessed memory, [during our

exile in Chi’ili], on the Shabbat when the new month is blessed,

would recite the Yehee ratzon prayer

[which states, “May it be

Your will, G-d…that You give us a month that has in it life” full of

specified material benefits and spiritual qualities. When reciting the

phrase in this prayer], “life in which there is no embarrassment or

disgrace,” my husband said those words with deep, heartfelt

emotion. Later, when there were enough Jews to hold prayer

services, my husband would recite this Yehee ratzon prayer publicly

with them, too, although he had never done so back home. The

prayer includes other requests for material benefits of which we

were in urgent need, yet I noticed that he recited none of those

requests with that same depth of feeling that he invested in that

phrase. Apparently, this subject evokes more pain than other needs.

Sunday, 2 Shevat [5713 (1953)]
On 28 Tevet, I turned 73 years old.

On the same day, I became a U.S. citizen. Both these events could have caused much
happiness. But my loneliness was unmistakable. In any case, thank G-d for these events. My son, long may he live, wished me all the best. From my other son —whom I have
not seen for 24 years, which also is far from easy for me—I received a telegram signed [also] by his wife
and daughter, neither of whom I have ever met.

Where are my husband’s writings now?
[After 15 Shevat, 5713 (1953)]
Involuntarily, thoughts come to mind about my past experiences. It is said that one shouldn’t sin even in thought…

Just now was 15 Shevat, which reminds me of many past
experiences, none of which I wish to forget, although perhaps they
make me feel my loss more intensely.

I recall my husband describing how he felt upon arriving in
Alma Ata in 1940, after eleven months of constant surveillance in
prison. CONTINUE READING...