EXCLUSIVE report continued: “Parents need to learn the rules of dating...Singles need to learn to date properly" & more...

We now continue with our EXCLUSIVE series on the Shidduchim Crisis with more solutions presented by Top Lubavitch Shadchanim

Solution #3: Parents should check carefully into the prospective match. Then, they should encourage singles to give the shidduch a real chance.

“Date keeping in mind the truth: you are looking for your other half.”

“People should approach every shidduch as if it really could be ‘the one.’ You didn’t just meet this person in the pizza shop. A lot of research went into it (including Dor Yeshorim). Hashgacha Pratis led you to date this person.”

“Keep totally focused on the person you’re dating rather than thinking about the next one on the list or slipping into the dangerous ‘I could do better’ fantasy.”

“People spend weeks checking out a boy or girl, but then the dater gives up after one or two dates, sometimes because of faulty first impressions. ‘I don’t want to lead them on and hurt their feelings’ is a common reason given. Don’t worry excessively about hurting their feelings.  Of course, be a mensch. But remember everyone is unsure, and everyone is trying to make a go of it. Relax a bit and give the shidduch space to happen.”

Solution #4: Parents, young people of dating age, mashpiyim and even shadchanim need training.

“We all accept the fact that a newlywed and a new mother/father need practical tips. Entering the shidduch parsha is no different.”

“Parents need to learn the rules of dating. When they do, some of them will be much more pleasant for shadchanim to work with, and their shidduch might happen more smoothly.”

“Singles need to learn to date properly. Too often they get caught up in details that are beside the point.”

“All shadchanim need to take a course and be certified. It doesn’t guarantee they’ll be the best shadchanim as a result, but they will learn something from it.”

“Many seminaries have one or two shiurim on the topic, but what if a girl overslept that day? We need classes and support for boys and girls entering and going through the parsha.”

“My questionnaire lists four qualities the singles believe they have to offer, and four qualities they are seeking in a spouse. I want every single to focus properly on what marriage is really about.”

Faige Rapp hosts a support group for mothers who are making shidduchim. In addition, participants share profiles of singles. She invites all interested mothers to attend.

TO BE CONTINUED...
CLICK HERE for Installment #2